NEVAR FORGET the greatest fanfiction of all time: shino's paachi

I found this on fanfiction.net years ago. It was taken down from there years ago. I am now reposting it here for posterity so that it will never be lost again.

SHINO’S PAACHI

Pikachu snuck into Hanabi’s room at the stroke of midnight. Hanabi was feeling very emo because she was in love with Naruto, but so was Hinata. So Hanabi was thinking what she could do when she fell asleep. The little blue pikachu whispered in her ear “whore yourself.”

The Next Day…

Hanabi-chan woke up and put on her most kawaii ninja dress and went down to the ramen cart. Just then, Shino walked by.

Shino: Yo.

Hanabi: Ohayo Shino-senpai!

Shino: My you are looking kawaii today.

Hanabi: rashspreads Oh, arigato senpai…

Shino: Would you like to come with me and taberu this delicious pinku bento that my chichi made for me?

Hanabi: Hai! Ikimasho!

(At Shino’s House)

Shino: Have you ever been raped by 10000 bugs?

Hanabi: Waha of course.

Shino: Well then lets try again!

Shino told his bugs to form gigantic bug tentacles and to rip off Hanabi’s scant clothing.

Hanabi: blush Oh, senpai…dame…onegai…

The tentacle bugs prodded Hanabi untill she was very tender, and then Shino ordered the bugs to PENETRATE.

Hanabi: OH SENPAI! ITAI!

Hanabi: OKIII!

It was about this time that Shino heard a knock at the door. Shino let the bugs keep at it, and then he went to open the door.

Shino: Hi there!

The person at the door was Neji.

Neji: Hi Shino, want to play yugioh?

Shino: LOL you would just cheat and look at my cards. And besides, I am a little busy right now.

Neji: Doing what?

Neji heard screams of pleasure coming from Shino’s bedroom, and then he used his super secret BYAKUGON to miru whut was going on.

Neji: Holy crap its Hanabi. How did you get her to come home with you desuka?

Shino: I bribed her with umaaki gohan.

Neji: Now I can avenge my father’s death by having my sweet revenge on the head family. That cool with you?

Shino: Hey man, my loli is my friend’s loli! high five

So neji JAMMED IT IN.

It was sugoi. Shino decided that he would just watch. IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that Mr. Frog boss noticed a lot of bug activity going on in konoha.

Frog Boss: Wow that’s a lot of bugs and they sure are worked up. Maybe I could taberu some umaaki bugs with my ROOOONGO tounge.

So Mr. Frog Boss shoved his tounge into Shino’s window to get some bugs. Frog Boss’s hard, wet tounge slapped against Neji and Hanabi (who had switched to their 27th position by now) causing their pleasure to FUCKING SKYROCKET. Frog Boss detected the subtle taste of salty, delicious protein, and plunged his tounge deeper into Shino’s room. Shino got out his camera and began to tape all of this to be sold on the internet at a later date. IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that Orochimaru was flying over konoha in his magic school bus plotting his revenge.

Orochimaru: Is that Frog Boss? Well that means that dang Jiraiya must be around here someplace! Orochimaru dropped down onto the back of Boss Frog, who was now sweating profusely. Orochimaru miru-ed around and finally spotted Jiraiya;

he was clinging to the back of frog boss getting a SERIOUS BUZZ off the poisonous pleasure sweat that was being emitted.

Orochimaru: Whut are u doin?

Jiraiya: Getting high want some?

Orochimaru: Okay.

Jiraiya: Let’s take off our shirts and kiss.

Orochimaru: Okay.

IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that ROCK LEE and GAI SENSEI were walking by cooling down from one of their vigorous morning excercise TRAINING sessions if-you-know-what-i-mean. ROCK LEE felt pleasure vibrations coming from inside Shino’s house, and Gai Sensei saw Jiraiya and Orochimaru having hot sweaty man-sex (riding dirty) on top of Boss Frog.

Sakura: Hi Lee. ROCK LEE was torn between his INCREDIBLE ERECTION generated from HET relations with Sakura and his SUGOI PROSTATE INFLATION for having mirued the old-man-sex. He decided to grab sakura and check out the vibrations, and Gai went to check out the riding dirty. Gai jumped on Boss Frog and yelled “I FUCKING CAUGHT YOU RIDIN’ DIRTY!” and Jiraiya yelled “OH NO!” and Orochimaru said “LOL”

Gai: If you’re gonna have sweaty sex, find a woman like Kami intended!

MEANWHILE, ROCK LEE and Sakura peek in on the spectacle inside and become aroused and decide to join in. Lee was doing Sakura, Sakura was doing Hanabi, Neji was doing Hanabi, bugs were doing Hanabi, and everyone was being licked by Frog Boss. ROCK LEE’S MASSIVE ERECTION shows through his might suit easily, so Sakura rips it open ( the suit not his erection) and swallows it whole.

ROCK LEE: ITAI

Sakura: muffled OOOOKIII.

Sakura didn’t realize that he was ROCK FUCKIN LEE and had a MASSIVE penis

until she found it had grown too big for her mouth! IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME that sasuke was getting worried about Orochimaru. Kabuto was worried too.

Sasukae: sniff do you think he’s okay?

Kabuto: I shore hope so let me console you.

Sasuke: )

Kabuto: (o)

Then Naruto shows up out of nowhere to drill Sasuke in the ass, because it’s a necessity.

Kabuto- ( ‘o’) (;; ) Sasuke

Naruto- ( .( O.o) -Sasuke

Kabuto, Naruto, Sasuke( -o( .(D)

Kabuto: Unf

Naruto: Oonf

Sasuke: gar angst

MEANWHILE Rock lee rammed it into Sakura’s ass, the earlier scene continued in Shino’s house, Jiraiya pinned ino against a wall and pounded her, Orochimaru found Hinata and violently raped her with a snake, and Gai, being the hypocrite he is, found Kakashi and drilled his ass. IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME that Kiba took chibi-akamaru outside to play fetch.

Kiba: Akamaru you are my best friend.

Akamaru: woof woof.

Kiba: Fetch boy!

Kiba threw a tennis ball into Shino’s window.

Kiba: OHSHI I sure hope he doesnt find out it was me.

JUST THEN:

A TENNIS BALL CAME CRASHING THOUGH SHINO’S WINDOW.

Glass flew everywhere.

And there was lots and lots of blood…all from Hinata of course, who was looking for Hanabi.

Hinata: ITAI.

Jiraiya: IS THIS GURO?

Hinata: OW – hey Hanabi why are you doing this?

Hanabi: Frankly i dont know why. But what I do know is that I just came 36 times.

Neji: No shit, I came 87, but now that I’ve backed you into a corner, I can just keep spamming.

Neji’s other bloodline limit, as long as he’s in a corner, he can keep doing the same thing over and over without fail.

Hanabi: Also, I want Naruto’s hot ass.

Hinata: ITAI! Not so rough! Goddamit I cant get out of this corner, ITAI!

Just then, NEJI’S PENIS WAS OVERCOME WITH SENSITIVITY AND HE SPLOOGED A MIGHTY SPLOOGE and the others could not escape.

NEJI’S INCREDIBLE SPLOOGE WOULD BE KNOWN IN LATER YEARS TO EVANGELICAL SCIENTISTS AS THE GREAT FLOOD and it carved what would later be known as the “grand canyon.”

Acting quickly, and without hesitation, Frog Boss swalloed ALL OF IT

NEJI: FINISH

BOSS: HAI DESU

But then, because he said desu, he became a handsome japanese man, with a large penis, as stated in rule 46 subsection B of the internet.

Frog Man: Naruto…

Naruto: Hai?

Frog man: HEAVEN OR HELL ON THE EDGE ROUND ONE LETS ROCK.

Just then, Naruto WAS OVERCOME WITH SENSIIVITY and became the kyuubi.

THE KYUUBI LEAPT ONTO THE INNOCENT FROGMAN AND THRUST HIS GIGANTIC DEMONIC FOX PENIS INTO HIM AND FORCED HIM TO TAKE THE KNOT while at the same time shoving his claws into his asshole.

Frog man: unf

Fox boy: UNF

Just then itachi came in and stole his little brother away and sent him to saint john’s northwestern military academy. On sasuke’s first day in the dorm he was deemed the prettiest boy in the school and was raped mercilessly.

THE FROG MAN CRIED A SHRILL CRY OF UNADULTURATED PURE HAPPINESS AND LET FORTH A MIGHTY FACIAL CUMSHOT IN THE DIRECTION OF HINATA WHO SWALLOWED IT ALL.

Hinata: Oishikatta desu.

IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME THAT PIKACHU ENTERED THE SCENE.

Pikachu: HAHAHA all according to my plan!

PIKACHU WAS VERY AROUSED AND LET FORTH A MIGHTY THUNDERBOLT.

Everyone: looks like were blasting off again!

Shino walked over to pikachu and then Shino removed his mask.

Shino was really Ash in disguise.

Then pikachu took off his mask.

Pikachu was really Fred Gallagher in disguise.

Hinata took off her mask.

She was really Kent Hovind in disquise, who jumped out the window and raped a dinosaur.

OSHI!

Shino i mean Ash: Here is your tape man. you are one sick fuck.

Pikachu I mean Fred-chan: Thanks this is the only thing that getsa me off. Here is your copy of radiant silvergun.

Shino i mean Ash: FUCK YES/

THE END

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